I've been looking for this quote for some time now. I couldn't remember the source until I ran across it serendipitously. The quote poignantly captures the state of mind that I've been mired in for so long. If I'm not able to "come out" soon to my family and friends, I'm afraid I'll lose my sense of self.

No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.

-Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter, Chapter XX: The Minister in a Maze